


Dimensional Complications

by celtic7irish



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Dimensions, Author chooses to ignore most movies, Bleeding Edge Armor, Gen, Hank Pym and Reed Richards should never be allowed to work together, Hilarity Ensues, Jarvis lives, Normal-sized Bruce, Short Story, tiny tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-17 07:31:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15456357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celtic7irish/pseuds/celtic7irish
Summary: Tony prided himself on being a genius.  It was part of his whole spiel: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.  Okay, maybe not a playboy so much anymore, but the rest were true.  But he knew there were other geniuses out there.  He also knew where he ranked (somewhere between Bruce Banner and Hank McCoy, and he wasn’t even going to mention Reed Richards because that man had no business calling himself a scientist), and it usually didn’t bother him.  He knew what he was good at, knew the creation and improvement of things that he could touch, could build and create and destroy and make better.But, he mused, put a couple of geniuses in a room together, and you were just asking for trouble.  Case in point.OR: The one where Tony and Bruce find themselves in an alternate world, and things are...complicated.Each chapter is a prompt for Science Bros Week 2018.





	1. Geniuses are Nothing but Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> For July 23, 2018: Genius

Tony prided himself on being a genius.  It was part of his whole spiel: Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.  Okay, maybe not a playboy so much anymore, but the rest were true. But he knew there were other geniuses out there.  He also knew where he ranked (somewhere between Bruce Banner and Hank McCoy, and he wasn’t even going to _mention_ Reed Richards because that man had no business calling himself a scientist), and it usually didn’t bother him.  He knew what he was good at, knew the creation and improvement of things that he could touch, could build and create and destroy and make _better_.

 

But, he mused, put a couple of geniuses in a room _together_ , and you were just asking for trouble.  Case in point.

 

“Any idea where we are?” Tony asked, craning his neck to look up at Bruce, who was looking around dazedly, his fingers curled protectively upward like a cage around Tony’s much tinier body.

 

“I’m not sure if I should be more worried about the where, the how, or you,” Bruce admitted, his voice far too loud for Tony’s current stature, and the genius winced a bit.  “Sorry,” Bruce murmured, dropping his voice to just above a whisper - which still sounded like a roll of thunder, but at least it was at a tolerable decibel now.

 

Tony shook his head.  “Not your fault,” he denied.  “But when we get back, I’m revoking Pym’s genius card.  And kicking Reed into one of those alternate dimensions he’s so fond of.”  Bruce chuckled lightly above him, and Tony found himself smiling in response.  It was so rare that Bruce smiled or laughed, so Tony hoarded each one like a dragon hoarded shiny trinkets.  

 

“Yes, well, first we need to find a way out of here,” Bruce murmured.  “Or a way to get you back to normal.”

 

Tony looked around, then looked up at Bruce and blinked.  “Are we sure we don’t need to get you back to normal instead?” he asked.  All around them, trees towered above their heads, and little floaty lights hovered in the air, seemingly blown by a nonexistent wind.  Something that looked weirdly reminiscent of a jellyfish went by, using long tentacles to propel itself forward. Bruce stepped smartly out of the way.

 

“No,” Bruce admitted, continuing their conversation.  “But if you’re regular size, and I’m not, then this place would eat us alive if we were the same size.”  He...might have a point, Tony allowed.

 

“All right, fine,” he grumbled.  “Escape first, solve the size issue later.  We’re both geniuses, we can figure this out.”  Bruce nodded absently, busy looking at their surroundings, and Tony found himself doing the same.  The sky was a pale orange, but there didn’t appear to be a sun or moon or anything that he could see, and there were no shadows, which was incredibly disturbing, Tony realized.  The trees looked like trees if you didn’t look too closely at the bark that was too smooth to be bark and the bright yellow and red leaves. “So...I guess we start walking?” he asked.

 

Bruce nodded, then lifted Tony up carefully so the engineer could scramble up onto his shoulder, his hands wrapping around two tiny fistfuls of salt-and-pepper curls and leaving Bruce’s hands free, which was smart.  They had no idea what sort of predators might be around, and if Bruce transformed into the Hulk, Tony would be safer on his shoulder than in his hand.

 

They had landed on some sort of path, and Bruce continued along it now.  Having no better ideas, and not wanting to get lost in a forest with unknown dangers, Tony let Bruce go where he would.  While they worked, the two men discussed what they remembered - not much - and threw theories - of which there were many - back and forth between them.  None of it was particularly helpful, as any options pretty much relied on them either finding a way out (a portal or a pathway or something) or finding a way to communicate with people back in New York and then relying on somebody else to get them out of there.  Neither option was particularly promising.

 

Since he didn’t have to really watch where they were going, Tony paid attention to the world around them.  Yellow and red trees, blue grass, orange sky, fields of purple and red and green flowers created a riot of color, enough to give Tony a headache trying to take it all in.  And nothing looked anything like it should. Birds that looked more like lizards with wings and sharp teeth; fish in a pale white stream that darted too and fro with sharp beaks and spikes along their backs; something that Tony guessed was a dog, or maybe a cat, that had dull teeth and was happily munching on a tuft of grass like a goat.  He wondered idly if he was dreaming, but when he voiced as much, Bruce informed him wryly that if they were dreaming, then they were both in the same dream. Tony pointed out that it could happen. Theoretically. Bruce argued that if that was the case, then they should be able to find or make an exit. Tony conceded the debate.

 

By the time they came across a flowing creek with no visible way across, Tony had had enough.  “Dammit!” he snapped. “We’re both geniuses. We can figure this out!”

 

Bruce raised an eyebrow, but settled himself on a nearby boulder, allowing Tony to stand on his knee.  “I’m listening,” he said, his voice somewhere between amused and concerned.

 

Tony scowled, arms crossed in front of his chest.  “I don’t suppose you’ve seen Lang around, have you?”  The ex-thief wasn’t exactly a genius, but he was clever.  And since he hung out with the Pyms, he was probably used to quantum tunnels and alternate dimensions.  

 

Bruce’s smile was small but genuine.  “I would think that Scott being here would be a bad sign,” he pointed out.

 

Tony snorted.  “No, Richards and Pym being here would be a bad sign,” he said, “seeing as that this is their fault in the first place.  How is it that we ended up here?”

 

“You know who would be really handy right about now?” Bruce asked instead of answering him.  “Thor. And the Bi-Frost.”

 

Tony snorted, but didn’t disagree.  Besides, Thor was far preferable to almost anybody else he could think of.  He looked around again, considering their surroundings. “Well, we have water and shelter,” he said, gesturing towards the stream and trees in turn.  “Maybe food?”

 

Bruce nodded, glancing up at the sky, which was darkening to a deeper orange.  Tony wondered what passed for nighttime in this place. “Yeah, we should probably plan on camping out tonight,” he said.  Then he paused. “How do you feel about sleeping in a tree?” he asked.

 

Tony gave a heavy sigh.  “Geniuses,” he muttered.

 

Bruce just laughed.

 


	2. Cooking Disasters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For July 24, 2018: Raw

“Are you sure that’s safe to eat?” Tony asked skeptically, poking at the raw….fish thing that Bruce had managed to pull out of the river in a handmade net.  His hand barely covered two of its scales, and he scowled at the reminder of his miniaturized size.

 

Bruce towered over him where he was crouched on the ground, attempting to start a fire.  “No idea,” he admitted, far too cheerful for their current predicament. “But I don’t plan to eat it raw, in any case.  Hopefully cooking it will kill any bacteria that might be dangerous for humans.” They had watched while a bird with long legs and a long, sharp beak snapped up the fish-type creatures from the nearby stream and swallowed them whole.  They looked enough like fish to at least be somewhat familiar, even if Tony had never actually seen a fish that wasn’t already filleted, cooked, and on a plate. Or sushi. Sushi was pretty good, too.

 

Bruce, however, seemed almost pleased as the fire caught on a batch of brilliant red leaves and yellow sticks.  He was whistling as he set about stripping bark from two thinner sticks, fashioning them into something like spears, which he then used to skewer the fish-things before setting them above the fire to cook, skin and all.  Tony stood nearby and watched, frustrated at being so helpless. He’d never been camping, and even if he had, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been completely _without technology_ for the duration.  Bruce didn’t seem to mind his lack of contribution, content to tell Tony bits and pieces of some of the places he’d been, when he’d learned to live off the land.

 

It was warm by the fire in the chilly morning air, and despite the various animal noises they could hear, nothing approached them.  They caught sight of what Tony gleefully declared to be a jackalope, and a few more of those floating jellyfish and glowing lights.

 

Tony scowled when the fish-things - he was just going to call them fish, dammit - started to smell acrid.  “You’re burning them,” he told Bruce, who frowned, but obligingly pulled one away from the fire and pressed a tentative finger against the crispy skin.  He hummed under his breath as he pulled out a pocket knife and set the fish on a rock so he could cut into it. That...was a bad idea, and Tony started coughing, the smell clogging his nasal passages and closing his throat up.  “What’s happening?” he asked. “Is it toxic?”

 

“I don’t know,” Bruce said.  “The bird ate it, so I would think it’s edible, but it could be safe for them and not for us.  Or maybe the smell is to scare away predators.” He sounded almost hopeful. Tony just pressed his hands over his nose, trying not to breathe in the acrid stench coming from the fish as Bruce stabs the pocket knife into it.

 

What could only be described as green sludge oozed out of the fish, and Tony gave up, whirling around and bolting before he doubled over and purged himself of anything still left in his stomach.  On either side of him, the grass towered over him. By the time he was dry-heaving and looked around, he realized that Bruce had managed to get rid of the fish remnants and was currently washing his hands in the stream.

 

He slowly made his way back to the fire, stopping well outside the range of the embers that floated to the ground.  They were like miniature meteorites at his current size. “I hate being small,” he muttered.

 

“Hm?” Bruce asked, walking back to the fire and crouching down.  He held his hand out, and Tony stepped up into it, still grumbling.

 

“I swear, I am never going to laugh at Lang for freaking out over a bunch of ants again,” he sighed.  “Pretty sure if this place had any insects, they’d be the size of large dogs, at the very least.”

 

Bruce sighed, his breath ruffling Tony’s hair.  “Sorry,” he apologized, but Tony just waved it off.  It wasn’t his fault that he was normal-sized and Tony was...not.  “I think that maybe we should try and figure out why we didn’t both end up small first,” he said.  “I thought that perhaps it had something to do with the Hulk, but I don’t think that really matters.  Your reactor shrank with you,” he pointed out.

 

Tony blinked, then looked down at his chest.  He hadn’t even thought about that, but sure enough, the arc reactor was right where he’d expect it to be.  “Huh,” he said. Then he had an idea. Tapping into the neurotransmitters that controlled the nanites stored in the arc reactor, Tony called out the Iron Man armor.  It slid over him as smoothly and easily as ever, in perfect miniature. Unfortunately, he apparently had no connection to Jarvis, but other than that, it seemed to be functioning properly.

 

Bruce blinked at him.  “Huh,” he parroted as Tony rose into the air, delighted to find that flight capabilities seemed to be working just fine.  “Fascinating.” He held one finger up in front of Tony, who flew in a circle around it, just glad to be moving under his own power.  “You’re like a sprite out of a fairytale,” Bruce told him, grinning impishly. “Are you here to make mischief?”

 

“Only if you’re going to keep making smart comments about my size,” Tony grouched back at him, dropping onto Bruce’s shoulder in his classic pose.  Bruce’s shoulder dipped just a bit. “Sorry,” Tony said. He was losing his touch. He hadn’t even thought about trying to use the armor before now, and he’d forgotten that even small, the armor weighed significantly more than he did without it.  “Wow. I might have revoke my own genius card,” he muttered.

 

Bruce was staring contemplatively at the fire.  “We still need food,” he said. “And a way to get out of here, if we can’t get you back to normal.”

 

Tony agreed.  “Yeah, but let’s not try to cook those fish again, okay?” he asked.

 

Bruce nodded. “They seem to have some natural weapons against predators,” he mused.  “It’s possible that they need to be eaten raw.”

 

“Ugh, no,” Tony grimaced, grateful that the suit modified sound so that he didn’t feel like he was yelling.  Or that Bruce was. “I like sushi well enough, but I am not eating raw fish that might not even be fish.” Scanning the area, he searched for things that looked like they might be edible.  “Berries or something, those should be safe enough, right?”

 

Bruce gave him a wry smile.  “Berries could be poisonous,” he pointed out.  “So could almost any plant we find here. The best option is probably to stick with water for now, since it hasn’t made us sick yet, and then mimic the local wildlife.  Whatever they eat is probably safe enough for human consumption.” _Probably_ being the important word, Tony supposed.

 

“So...raw fish or berries that may or may not be poisonous,” he said.  “Might as well try some of the floating jellyfish while we’re at it.”

 

Bruce shrugged.  “It’s that or find a way out of here before we starve,” he pointed out logically.

 

Tony sighed heavily.  “Fine,” he grumbled. “Let’s follow the river and see what we can find.”  Without waiting for a response, he took off, careful to keep his pace slow enough that Bruce could follow at an easy walk.  As happy as he was to be moving under his own power, he really didn’t relish getting separated from Bruce. While he was pretty sure his repulsor beams would be enough to deter any predators that thought he’d make a tasty snack, he was equally sure he didn’t want to find out.

 

As the two men continued on their way, sticking close to the river and watching for any wildlife that might provide them with a food source, Tony kept up a constant secondary scan, watching for anything that seemed like it might be a portal, or at least a way out of this place.  Because there was no way he was going to eat raw fish. Ever.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have taken this particular prompt a bit literally. Just a teeny tiny bit, really.


	3. Mid-Day Excitement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For July 25, 2018: Heat

Bruce was dozing in the shade of a tree while Tony hovered nearby, keeping an eye on their surroundings.  As chilly as it had gotten at night, it had heated up quickly as the sky lightened to a brilliant orange. It was practically neon at this point.  The two men had quickly realized that the days here were longer than the days back on Earth, or in their dimension, or whatever. Tony still hadn’t seen anything that qualified as a sun yet, just the brightening and darkening of the orange sky.

 

Tony’s armor was climate controlled, but Bruce didn’t have a suit to protect him from the heat, so once the temperature had climbed above 105 degrees Fahrenheit, Tony had deemed it too dangerous to continue.  They knew that it would get cooler as evening approached, so Tony had encouraged Bruce to rest for a few hours while he kept watch. Besides, he was pretty sure Bruce had stayed awake all night to make sure they didn’t fall out of the tree they had taken refuge in.  The last thing either of them needed was for Bruce to pass out from heat exhaustion or just plain exhaustion.

 

The temperature was approaching 115 when Tony’s peripheral sensors went off.  Something large was headed their way. Tony glanced back at Bruce, who was still sleeping, then slipped out from the relative shelter of the treeline.  He knew the sunlight was glinting off his armor and probably attracting whatever it was that his sensors had caught, but at least if he provided a shiny, tempting target, maybe Bruce would remain unnoticed.

 

He moved towards where he’d last detected movement.  The grass wasn’t moving, and Tony frowned, wondering if maybe he’d been imagining it.  Were mirages a thing here? It was definitely hot enough for it, he supposed, deciding to fly just a bit further before returning to Bruce.

 

His visor was suddenly filled with something large and dark, and Tony yelped at his shot his repulsors full blast, barely clearing the teeth closing around him.  He _really_ hated being small.  How did Lang do this on a regular basis? Who wanted to be snack-size for everything bigger than a gnat?

 

It took him much longer than he felt it should to pull himself out of range, and then he turned around and pointed at the large feline-looking creature.  It had long, shaggy fur and sharp canines that curved down over its lower jaw.It also had four eyes, two on either side. It emitted a low growl that rose into a yowl, and Tony shot at its eyes, which turned the yowl into a scream.

 

The creature crouched down, and Tony flew a bit higher.  “Tony?” he heard.

 

“A little busy!” he said, then realized that Bruce probably couldn’t hear him, as small and far away as he was.  “Dammit,” he muttered as the creature leapt again, claws and teeth reaching for him. “Get! Shoo!” he snapped, taking another shot.  This time, he singed an ear, which just seemed to piss the creature off. “I don’t have time to play with you.”

 

The cat seemed more pissed than frightened, and it glared balefully at Tony, a low snarl emitting from bared fangs.  “Tony!” Bruce called, and this time he was closer. Tony risked a look back and saw Bruce running forward, a thick branch held in his hand.

 

“What are you-?” he started, then swore as the large cat turned towards Bruce instead.  “Run!” he snapped, but it was too late. The predator jumped, Bruce swung the stick, and then there was chaos.  Tony got in a couple of shots, but he feline didn’t appear to even feel it, claws scraping along Bruce’s arm even as the branch connected with its side, catching it hard enough to send it sideways with a surprised cry.

 

Tony swore as Bruce’s skin shifted green, the Hulk coming out to play.  The cat screamed, the Hulk roared, and just like that, it was over. The cat bolted, disappearing into the treeline, probably to go hunt for easier prey.

 

“Not that I’m not glad to see you, Big Guy,” Tony said, flying up to hover in front of the Hulk, “but I could really use Bruce right about now.  I don’t suppose you want to let him back out, huh?”.

 

The green behemoth’s eyes crossed looking at him, and the Hulk scowled.  “Shellhead tiny,” he grouched. “Hulk protect Shellhead.” He looked around, scowling at the oddly colored landscape.  “Where?” he grunted.

 

“I wish I knew, Big Guy,” Tony told him.  “I really do.”

 

Hulk sighed, holding out a hand, and Tony landed carefully in that large palm.  “Hot,” Hulk complained.

 

Tony nodded.  “Yeah, it’s definitely hot out,” he agreed, his eyes drawn to his helmet display.  120 degrees. “So now that you’ve rescued me, how about we go back to the nice shade? Maybe get a bit of water?”

 

Hulk looked over towards the stream and smiled.  “Water good. Quiet. Safe,” he rumbled, and Tony remembered Bruce telling him that when he’d been on the run, and the Hulk had come out, he’d often regain consciousness out in the wilderness and near a source of water.  Now Tony knew why.

 

“Yeah,” he agreed, powering up his suit and flying leisurely along the stream, towards the treeline.  “Water’s good.”

 

And as the temperature continued to rise, he found himself hoping the Hulk was right, and the water was safe.


	4. Fact or Fiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For July 26, 2018: Fiction

“I once went twelve for twelve with the Maxim Girls,” Tony said, spinning playful circles around Bruce’s head.  It was after dusk, and the temperature had dropped significantly, to something almost comfortable. They were still following the stream, having no better ideas.  And since neither of them had gotten sick yet, they were hoping that meant that the water was safe for human consumption. But even if it wasn’t, they didn’t have much choice in the matter.  They needed water. And they’d need food soon, too, if they remained in this place for much longer. Fortunately, they seemed to have to come to a place where plant life grew abundantly along the banks of the river, so hopefully they’d catch sight of some animals that might help indicate which plants were safe and which were not.

 

Bruce hummed under his breath.  “Trick question,” he decided. “Technically, you went twelve for thirteen, because December was twins, right?” he asked.

 

Tony laughed, delighted. “How do you even know the answer to that?” he demanded.  “Weren’t you in Timbuktu that year?”

 

“Bahrain,” Bruce corrected.  “And I did some research on you when I realized that Ross was using Stark Industries weapons against the Other Guy.”  Tony grimaced; he hadn’t exactly forgotten that he’d sold weapons to the military to use against a monster, but he tried not to think about it.  He wasn’t that man anymore, and the Hulk wasn’t a monster. And Ross was a first-class jackass.

 

“I’m sure that was enlightening,” Tony snarked back, unwilling to hash out the past again.  Tony had apologized, Bruce had forgiven, they had both let it go. Mostly. If Tony occasionally takes the armor out to destroy a newly hidden cache of Stark-made Hulkbuster weapons, well, that was just business as normal.

 

Bruce chuckled.  “I was more interested in your clean energy technology than your social life at the time,” he admitted ruefully.

 

Tony grinned.  “Yeah, yeah, I make awesome tech,” he said lightly.  “It’s your turn,though.” The tedium of walking had been driving Tony out of his mind, though Bruce didn’t seem to mind, as long as they stayed away from places where predators could sneak up on them.  For the most part, all they’d seen since the large cat-like creature had been smaller animals like the jackalopes and the weird spiny flying lizards, a few more of the herbivore dog-goats. Tony had started to make up his own names for them when Bruce had suggested they play Fact or Fiction.  Similar to Truth or Dare, but less likely to result in an unwelcome reappearance of the Hulk, the two men took turns stating something about their pasts, and the other one had to determine if it was Fact or Fiction.

 

Bruce hummed under his breath, considering.  “When Natasha found me in Calcutta, I had gone more than a year without an Incident.”  

 

Tony considered that for a long moment, but if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure.  Not every Hulk appearance had made the news, especially if it happened in some of the smaller, out of the way countries that had never heard of Bruce Banner or the Hulk, or that had not military to speak of.  And Ross had spoken often of the Monster he was chasing, but he had just gone on and on and on. That didn’t mean that Bruce had actually had one of his so-called “Incidents”.

 

“Fact,” he said at last.  He knew that Bruce had been on the run for years, seeking ways to suppress or eradicate the Other Guy entirely.  If he could have avoided letting the Hulk out forever, Tony was sure he would have.

 

“One year, twelve days,” Bruce confirmed.  “It was my longest stretch since the accident.”

 

“And then Natasha showed up,” Tony mused.

 

Bruce nodded.  “And then Natasha showed up,” he agreed.  “And Loki tried to conquer Earth, and a certain genius billionaire blew up an alien mothership.”  He paused to consider that. “I think that’s what made the Other Guy like you,” he added.

 

“Oh? Is that what it was?” Tony joked, because it was that or give in to the panic screaming just under the surface when he thought about things like _aliens_ and _space_ and _dying alone_.  “And here I thought it was my charming personality.”

 

“No,” Bruce corrected.  “Your charming personality and brilliant mind were what made _me_ like you.”

 

Tony laughed, delighted.  “Such a sweet talker,” he teased, coming to rest gently on Bruce’s bare shoulder.  The other man’s pants had survived the transformation, thanks to Tony’s ingenuity in the fabrication of what he fondly referred to as Hulk Pants, but he hadn’t thought to do the same with shirts.  An oversight on his part that would be remedied just as soon as they got back home. For now, he just kept an eye on the other man, making sure his temperature didn’t rise too high. He didn’t know if it was possible to get a sunburn here if there was no sun, but he wasn’t willing to risk it, either.

 

Bruce paused to pick some berries that they had seen other animals eating.  They’d been reduced to grazing as they walked, neither one willing to stop moving while the weather was almost pleasant.  Tony’s suit kept picking up pockets of air pressure, but he hadn’t seen anything that indicated a storm. At least, not a storm like the ones on Earth.  Still, there was always a risk that they’d need to find shelter or move away from the river, so they were eating while they could.

 

Bruce held one of the berries up to Tony, who took another look around before retracting the suit back into its nanite casing and accepting the berry, which he had to hold with both hands.  Mumbling an apology for the mess he caused when some of the juice dripped onto Bruce’s shoulder, he considered his next move. “War Machine was painted red, white, and blue,” he said, careful to suppress his grimace at the memories of that particularly horrible paint job.

 

“That’s got to be fiction,” Bruce said.  “No way would you have painted any armor of yours that color.  You’d sooner paint it pink.”

 

Tony chuckled.  “Well, that’s true,” he admitted, “in that I’d rather have had it painted pink.  But it’s fact, sadly,” he said mournfully. Bruce raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged.  “Wasn’t my idea. When Rhodey first brought War Machine Mark II back to the Air Force, they decided that gunmetal grey wasn’t patriotic enough.  Nevermind that they let _Justin Hammer_ arm it,” he scowled, “but then they gave it a new paint job.  Rhodey had it stripped down after using it to rescue the President.  I’ll show you pictures sometime.” He had kept a few, mostly for blackmail purposes when he wanted to convince Rhodey to get some upgrades to his armor.  Rhodey had hated the paint job just as much as Tony.

 

Bruce grinned.  “At least it wasn’t your idea,” he teased.  “If it had been, I was going to have to start worrying.”

 

Tony snorted.  “Red, White, and Blue is Cap’s thing,” he pointed out.  “I prefer Red and Gold myself.”

 

“Fact,” Bruce muttered.

 

Tony laughed.


	5. Guarding the Portal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For July 27, 2018: Gold

“What do you want to bet that’s the portal?” Tony asked, his head tilted to the side as he considered the sight in front of them.

Bruce sighed from where he was crouched behind a haphazard stack of boulders.  “Chances are good, but we have no way of knowing where it leads.  It could drop us on Earth, in New York or at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, or on another planet.  Possibly even another dimension.  We don’t know if there are more of these portals or not.”

Tony sighed. Bruce had a point.  “I still might be willing to risk it,” he said.  “But we have a bigger problem to deal with first.”  This time, it was Bruce who sighed, contemplating the creature guarding the portal.  “Do you think that’s an actual, honest-to-god dragon?” Tony mused.  The creature was covered in scales and was probably two stories tall lying down.  Spines curved over its forehead and down its spine, tapering off towards the end of a long, spear-tipped tail.  Sharp claws - easily longer than Bruce was tall - were curled up underneath the large body, similar to a cat at rest.  Large wings were tucked against its side, two sets on either side of the massive body. 

Tony couldn’t see the teeth, but going by the size of the claws, he was sure they were probably huge.  And sharp.  And the entire thing was colored gold, from scales to spines to claws.  It was a lot to take in.  And he was huge.  Had Tony mentioned that?  Next to the dragon, even the Hulk would be snack-sized.

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t breathe fire,” Bruce muttered under his breath.  Tony agreed wholeheartedly.

“Do you think it has a treasure hoard somewhere?” he asked.  “Like gold and jewels and things?”

Bruce looked at him with raised eyebrows.  “Why?” he retorted.  “Do you want to rob what’s probably a fire-breathing dragon?”

Tony shrugged.  “Really, there’s no such thing as too much money.  Have you seen how much it costs to maintain our exclusive little club?  But no, I was just thinking that Thor would probably sing our accolades if we told him we took on a fierce fire-breathing lizard,” he said.  Bruce nodded.  Conquering a dragon and laying claim to its hoard would be just the sort of thing that Thor would delight in hearing about, though he would probably mourn the lost chance.

“What are the chances we can sneak around it?” Bruce asked quietly, still and tense.  As far as they could tell, the dragon appeared to be sleeping, but for all they knew, it was just faking it, waiting until the idiot humans walked close enough to be a mid-morning snack.

“Well, I might be able to,” Tony pointed out.  “I’m pretty sure the thing’s eye is bigger than I am.”  He paused.  “Would it be inconsiderate of me to say that I really wish I had some Pym particles right about now?” he asked.

Bruce’s lips twitched.  “I’m sure Hank would love to hear that,” he said.

“Which is why we’re not telling him that I even considered it,” Tony replied hastily.  “Not even for a moment.”

  
“Uh huh,” Bruce said, then sighed, turning around so his back was against the boulder and he was seated on the ground.  Tony took one more long look at the sleeping dragon and then dropped to Bruce’s knee, careful not to scorch the pants with his repulsors.

“Now what?” he asked.

Bruce shrugged.  “Now we wait,” he said simply.  “Something that big has to eat eventually.”

Tony sighed, retracting the armor and letting himself curl up into Bruce’s offered hand.  He hated waiting.  Might as well get some sleep.  Maybe they’d be lucky and the dragon would leave before it got too hot.

He very firmly ignored the little voice in his head that pointed out that he was never that lucky.

It could happen.

Right?


	6. Waking a Sleeping Dragon is a Bad Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For July 28, 2018: Friday
> 
>  
> 
> Note: This is mostly just me using the word 'Friday' a lot. Take it as you will.

So, it turned out that they could not, in fact, be that lucky.  Apparently, the dragons of this world were most active during the hottest part of the day.  Probably because their preferred prey was lethargic and slow in the depressive heat of mid-day.  Bruce and Tony had just been dozing in the cooler shade of the boulders after risking a quick trip to the stream for water and a few more of the berries that grew in abundance there, when they were woken up by a sudden gust of wind and a loud roar as the dragon rose into the air.

 

They’d tucked themselves into the shadows as best they could, hoping that the dragon would fly over them and go searching for food or something so they could make a run for the portal, but instead the stupid thing had starting picking up the boulders and turning them over.  Bruce had paled, then turned to Tony, who was already suiting up, and then there hadn’t been time for anything else, because the dragon had noticed them.

 

It screamed at them, and Tony screamed back as Bruce shifted into the Hulk.  One smack of a clawed hand, and the Hulk went flying, bellowing in rage as he disappeared into the trees with a thundering crash.  Tony didn’t have time to look for him, as his armor had attracted the dragon’s attention, and it was all he could do to weave between the dragon’s claws and skim up along its side, trying to stay out of reach of the serpentine head with its long, sharp teeth.  He’d been right; they were huge.

 

One flap of the dragon’s four wings, and Tony was tumbling ass over end until he smacked into one of the boulders, leaving a tiny dent in its surface before dropping to the ground.  The dragon roared again, snarling, its eyes glowing malevolently, but it didn’t spit fire or acid or ???? at him, its attention back on the boulder - which Tony now realized was probably an egg, given the way the dragon had been turning them over in the sunlight just moments before.  Shit.

 

He used the dragon’s distraction to get the hell out dodge, zipping into the treelines and heading in the general direction towards where he’d last seen the Hulk.  Unfortunately, even moving at Mach 3, what should have taken him about two minutes instead took almost twenty, and by then, all that was left of the Hulk’s landing was a bunch of broken trees and a large crater.

 

“Dammit, dammit, dammit,” Tony muttered under his breath.  “Where’s Jarvis when you need him? Or even Friday?” The female AI was the youngest of them all, having only been completed and released to Jarvis’ care less than a month earlier.  But she was already capable of basic things like complicated searching and tracking algorithms. Tony planned to offer her to Bruce as a companion, if he wanted. But first, they had to get home.  And to do that, Tony had to find the Hulk. Or Bruce. Whichever one was in control right now.

 

There was a path of not-quite-destruction leading away from the crater, and Tony followed the trampled plants and large footsteps, grateful that the Hulk had apparently settled for running rather than jumping.  Otherwise, he’d be nearly impossible to find, as Tony would have to hope he was heading in the right direction until he found wherever the behemoth had landed.

 

He was still following the footprints and trampled earth when he heard a familiar bellow just to his right.  Twisting in the air, Tony veered right, dodging swiftly around tree trunks and being careful to remain high enough above the ground that he wasn’t easy prey for the snakes and lizards.  Most of the birds had sought shelter this time of day, so he was less concerned about being plucked out of the air from above.

 

As Hulk roared again, a flock of birds and winged lizards took to the skies in a cacophony of sound, which was followed by a familiar rumbling noise, like the roll of thunder.  Hulk was laughing.

 

Tony darted out of the treeline, then just stopped and stared.  Hulk was sitting in the middle of the stream, splashing up great waves of water, completely soaked.  He didn’t seem to notice Tony at all as he chortled, big hands sweeping through the water again, causing waves that crashed over the banks.  A few drops headed Tony’s way, and he dodged them easily, flying closer until he was hovering over Hulk’s head. Hulk grinned at him. “Water!” he said.  “Cold.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll bet it is,” Tony agreed, the armor taking readings.  In truth, the water temperature was rather warm, like bathwater, but compared to the air temperature, it was still several degrees cooler.  Tony settled on a rock nearby to wait for Hulk to wear himself out or decide that he was done playing in the water.

 

While he waited, Tony ran calculations in his head, making and discarding plans rapidly.  They had been pulled into this dimension on Friday, and given that the days here were approximately thirty-seven earth hours long, it should be Sunday night by now.  In the morning, Tony had a meeting scheduled, which meant that Pepper would probably come looking to scold him when he inevitably missed it. That was probably the soonest they’d be discovered missing.  Steve, Natasha, and Clint were out on SHIELD missions, and while Jarvis could have potentially notified Pepper or Rhodey that he and Bruce were missing, Tony had no idea how they’d ended up here in the first place, so he had no way of knowing how long it would take the others to track them.  

 

Unless they managed to sneak past the dragon and escape through the portal on their own - assuming, of course, that the portal would actually take them back home - they were going to end up relying on Hank Pym and Reed Richards to get them out of here.  Heck, maybe Stephen Strange would lend a hand, because there was no way that mixing magic with quantum physics and dimensional portals could go wrong, right?

 

“Shellhead not happy?” Hulk asked, and Tony shook himself out of his downward spiraling thoughts and looked up to see Hulk peering at him with concern, the expression containing so much _Bruce_ in it that Tony found himself answering honestly.

 

“Shellhead is trying to find us a way home,” he said, “and not having much luck.  I think we might have to go find the dragon again.”

 

Hulk scowled. “Dragon,” he repeated derisively, and Tony chuckled.

 

“Yeah, I know,” he agreed.  “Ranks right up there with puny gods, huh?”  Hulk smiled, showing off all his teeth, and Tony’s gentled his expression.  “Want to tell me what you’re still doing out?” he asked. Green eyes narrowed at him, and Tony held up his hands peaceably.  “Don’t get me wrong, I like you and all. We’re friends, yeah?” he asked, waiting until Hulk nodded, subsiding with a low grumble.  “I just know that Banner will be really, really tired when you change back again.”

 

“Puny Banner,” Hulk sighed mournfully.  Tony bit back a laugh.  It wouldn't do to encourage him.

 

“That’s not very nice,” he chastised lightly.  “But we still have to go face a dragon, so unless you want to try again next Friday when Bruce finally wakes back up, we should get going.”

 

Hulk lumbered to his feet, waiting impatiently for Tony to settle on his shoulder, gripping his hair firmly.  As fast as the Iron Man armor was, even at its current size, it still couldn’t beat the distance Hulk could travel with clear skies.

 

Clinging tightly, Tony pointed back towards the dragon.  And the portal they needed if they ever wanted to get home.

 

“Hulk, jump!” he said.

 

Laughing, Hulk did just that.

  



	7. Why Does It Have to Be Loki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For July 29, 2018: Late

Tony stared in disbelief at the god standing in front of them, his expression smug. “Are you kidding me right now?” he demanded, turning to the man next to him. “Is he kidding me?” Bruce just shrugged, his eyes very carefully not looking at the trickster god, and Tony turned back to glare at him, pointing imperiously. “You’re late!” he insisted. “We’ve been gone for days already, and you just now got here?”

Loki raised one sardonic eyebrow, and Tony growled. “What makes you think I have not been here the entire time?” he drawled, sounding far more amused than the situation warranted, Tony felt.

Bruce listed to the side, and Tony shifted him more firmly against his side, glaring at Loki the whole time. “You,” he said succinctly, “are an asshole.” Loki’s smirk just widened, as if he were pleased by the insult. He probably was.

“Home?” Bruce murmured quietly, his eyes not quite focused, and Tony looked down at his friend. Two transformations in such a short period of time had sapped him of all his energy, and Tony knew that the only reason he wasn’t unconscious was because they were still in danger.

He looked back up at Loki, who was standing casually in front of the portal, a miniature dragon curled around his neck. He didn’t know if it was the same dragon, or what Loki had done to it if it was, but it seemed mostly harmless like that.

Tony didn’t let down his guard. He was finally back to his normal size (a “gift” from Loki), and he wasn’t going to waste it by standing around arguing with the trickster. “Well?” he demanded.

Loki considered them for a long moment. “I might, perhaps, be persuaded to send you back to Midgard,” he allowed. “But not that beast.”

Tony sneered. “You’re just pissed because he beat your ass into the ground,” he snapped back. Hulk’s attack hadn’t left any lasting damage, but the humiliation had no doubt caused Loki a few nightmares. “I’m not leaving without him,” he insisted, “so if you’re not going to send us both back, just go away. The others will find us eventually, anyhow.” And now that he was full-size again, that was one less thing they’d have to deal with. They’d just stay near the portal, within walking distance of water and the shelter of the forest, with food nearby. It was unfortunate that the two people with the best chance of getting them out of this place were the two people stuck in it.

Loki seemed to be considering that, and he didn’t look happy. Tony felt a small stirring of hope; perhaps the trickster was here because of Thor, and returning without the two men would probably be more trouble than his petty vendetta against the Hulk was worth. Besides, Loki had attacked Earth first. And Tony had warned him. We have a Hulk.

“Very well,” he agreed. “One one condition.” Before Tony could say anything, Bruce had disappeared.

Tony panicked. “What did you do?!” he demanded, taking a threatening step forward, ready to don the suit in an instant. “So help me, if you did something to him, I’m going to - “

“Going to what?” Loki smirked. “Your companion remains in good health. You may want to watch where you step, however.” Tony froze immediately, ignoring Loki’s amusement as he looked down by his feet. Sure enough, there was Bruce, looking around like he was still half-dazed.

Carefully, Tony dropped to his knees. “Hey there, Big Guy,” he murmured, keeping his voice down - he remembered how loud Bruce’s had been when he was that small. “How’re you doing?”

Bruce looked up at him, then clambered onto his palm when Tony set his hand on the ground. “This is...fascinating,” Bruce admitted as Tony stood up, keeping him carefully cradled in his palm, his fingers forming a half circle behind Bruce’s tiny body while the scientist considered his hands. “I’m wondering about the implications for the Other Guy,” he admitted almost shyly.

Tony grinned. “Me, too,” he admitted. Would the Hulk also be small? Or did the transformation negate any magic that Loki might use? How strong would he be in comparison to his usual size? How far would he be able to jump? Tony knew they wouldn’t be testing it - they’d both feel better with Bruce back to normal, and Bruce was reluctant to transform into the Hulk when it wasn’t necessary, anyhow. Tony’s for science argument only got him so far.

Precious cargo in tow, Tony turned to Loki and his pet dragon. “Well, Dorothy?” he asked archly. “We’re running behind schedule here. Take us home.”

Loki sighed, but did as requested. As his green magic swirled around them, Tony pulled Bruce closer to him. They were almost home.

As they faded from sight, the portal they’d left behind flickered and then disappeared, only slightly disappointed.

There would be others. There always were.


End file.
